how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
