Christians are straight up FREAKS
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
