No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
