Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
