Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
