I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I touched a dick in church today
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
