Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
