just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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