tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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