you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
