Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize