in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
