have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
