im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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