he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
