dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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