That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Randomize
