Dual....:-)
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
