You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize