Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
