help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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