U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
