If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
