You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
