i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
