He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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