I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
