I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
