life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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