Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
