my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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