do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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