Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
