i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize