I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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