I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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