God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
