Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
