By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
