What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
