Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
