Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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