wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
