i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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