I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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