Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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