sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
