this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
