That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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