dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
