i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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