I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
