2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
