It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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