i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
