I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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