Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
